Bright Side

The flea house

2012-01-15T19:43:00.001-05:00

We've been reading ads and making phone calls for over a month now.

It's hard to find a place that will accept 3 pets (one being a 100-pound dog), and even harder to find a place that offers a 6-month or month-to-month lease option. Whudda thunk it?

We knew it wouldn't be easy, but we thought we'd find a place by now. Best laid plans, I guess!

Saturday morning, we had an appointment to see a house. We both thought it would be the house. We need to get our move on this week, and I need to find a job pronto. This house was perfect: pets fine, price right, month-to-month lease, 2 bedrooms and a yard. Yes.

We spent about 10 minutes or so in the house. The place was old, definitely showing its age, and we both had a few concerns. We left to talk it over.

In the car, I notice a flea on my leg. And then another. And then Jonathan finds a flea. And then another. All in all, over a dozen tagalongs from our 10 minutes in the house.

Let me tell you--anything that is commonly partnered with the word infestation freaks me the eff out. I can deal with spiders and even ants, but fleas (and bedbugs!) give me the willies like nothing else. Bringing fleas home was not an option.

We shook out and inspected our clothes and shoes in the 20 degree and windy weather before going in the house. At some point you just have to laugh.... Jonathan was wearing a pair of old sneakers; when he held them up to his face to inspect for fleas, he immediately shook his head and said there's no way anything would ever want to jump in those. Gotta love a man who can make you laugh even when you're down to a t-shirt in the freezing cold, pinching fleas off your boots.

That place has been crossed off the list. So the search continues...

Tomorrow, tomorrow

2012-01-11T20:30:00.000-05:00

{image}

This is how I feel. My last day at work is Friday...and I still haven't found a new job.

Though, to be honest, I've been hesitant about sending in applications because we still haven't found a place to live. Just writing that made me feel anxious.

BREATHE.

It will work out.

I have faith that it will all work out.

{image}

I will find a job.

We will find a place to live.

Tomorrow will care for itself.

Christmas! Belatedly.

2011-12-28T19:28:00.000-05:00

*I wrote this post 2 weeks ago...didn't post it....and then the last 2 weeks have been crazy. I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since Christmas!!

My December Christmas (versus my upcoming January Christmas) was several days long. Several very good days.

My graduation was December 23....I didn't attend....but I went out to dinner with my family and Jonathan on Friday. Olive Garden, my favorite. The company wasn't too bad either ;)

Jonathan brought me flowers.

They're in a bird cage. With the lid taped down.
I know this looks awful. I mourn, trust me.
But cage-less, my cats would feast and then puke. Or die. Both messy outcomes that I'm trying to avoid.

We played this game with my family Saturday night:

It gets pretty cutthroat (maybe just in my house?). Some of the questions are disgustingly easy, but most are hard. It's a lot of fun. My throat hurt from laughing so hard by the end of the game.

Christmas morning started with cat vomit for me. It was after this that the lid of the bird cage got taped down...

But then we had pancakes and opened gifts. Santa Claus was generous this year.

I got a sewing machine so I can learn to sew.

Seat covers for my car.

An Ancestry.com membership, which I'm currently OBSESSED over, and more.

Like Starbucks :)

Plus Jonathan and I got Nerf guns so we can duke it out whenever we argue.

It's on. He's going down.

All in all, a very good Christmas with much to be grateful for.
Merry belated, internet.

quick note

2011-12-22T18:49:00.001-05:00

I realized (a bit belatedly) that my google account is a student account run by the University and will be deleted whenever the school gets around to it. Effectively deleting all my e-mail, this blog, etc...

Enter panic mode.

So if you're here because you're wondering why I have followed your blog twice, it's because I had to create a new account and switch everything over.

And now you know.

Graduated.

2011-12-21T19:19:00.001-05:00

DONE.

No more classes, no more papers, no more exams. Noon today, I turned in my last final.

I got home from work tonight and I immediately thought "okay, what do I have due tomorrow?"

Um. Nothing.

I'm happy it's over and I can't believe it's over.

Bigger and better things coming soon.

The life you've chosen

2011-12-20T22:09:00.003-05:00

This poem has been on my mind a lot lately. I think graduating at the end of December is a double whammy--the end of a year and the end of an era (How's that for dramatic?).

It's in my nature to be contemplative. For better or for worse, I dwell. It's just what I do. Endings and big changes make it even worse because I'm also a very sentimental person (speaking of double whammy). Here's a snippet of what I've been dwelling on recently:

The God Who Loves You by Carl Dennis
It must be troubling for the god who loves you
To ponder how much happier you'd be today
Had you been able to glimpse your many futures.
It must be painful for him to watch you on Friday evenings
Driving home from the office, content with your week—
Three fine houses sold to deserving families—
Knowing as he does exactly what would have happened
Had you gone to your second choice for college,
Knowing the roommate you'd have been allotted
Whose ardent opinions on painting and music
Would have kindled in you a lifelong passion.
A life thirty points above the life you're living
On any scale of satisfaction. And every point
A thorn in the side of the god who loves you.
You don't want that, a large-souled man like you
Who tries to withhold from your wife the day's disappointments
So she can save her empathy for the children.
And would you want this god to compare your wife
With the woman you were destined to meet on the other campus?
It hurts you to think of him ranking the conversation
You'd have enjoyed over there higher in insight
Than the conversation you're used to.
And think how this loving god would feel
Knowing that the man next in line for your wife
Would have pleased her more than you ever will
Even on your best days, when you really try.
Can you sleep at night believing a god like that
Is pacing his cloudy bedroom, harassed by alternatives
You're spared by ignorance? The difference between what is
And what could have been will remain alive for him
Even after you cease existing, after you catch a chill
Running out in the snow for the morning paper,
Losing eleven years that the god who loves you
Will feel compelled to imagine scene by scene
Unless you come to the rescue by imagining him
No wiser than you are, no god at all, only a friend
No closer than the actual friend you made at college,
The one you haven't written in months. Sit down tonight
And write him about the life you can talk about
With a claim to authority, the life you've witnessed,
Which for all you know is the life you've chosen.

On Finding a House

2011-12-19T21:30:00.000-05:00

Now that we know where we'll be living for the next 6 months or so, we're trying to find a place to live.

I have vetoed these. I fully embrace my snobbery and vote for something with a foundation. Then I won't have to stay up all night worrying that someone's gonna drive away with my house. Because I would do that....I really would.

I might reconsider though, if we found one that looked like this! Who wouldn't?

We're finding lots of duplexes in our very small price range. I would be fine with that (me, the introvert), but Jonathan (the people person!) is vehemently opposed to having neighbors. Oh, the irony. Oh, the difficulty of compromising.

You see, I'm looking for something like this...

Or this...

And he's looking for something like this...

(Maybe not exactly like that...)

But basically as far away from civilization as we can get. And I'm like, the nearest Starbucks is how far?!

And then he says, "Look at all the space for the dog to run around. Atticus will love it. He won't be happy with a little yard in the city." Which is just mean, because there is no arguing with a dog's happiness.

So now we are looking for an adorable bungalow in the middle of nowhere, for as little per month as possible. Where the dog and the boy will be happy and I will long for high-speed internet, overpriced coffee and newspaper home delivery. The search is not going so well...

The last suggestion was a tent with a space heater.

I vetoed that one too.

*all images link to the source, except the mobile home and the duplex

Shit List & The Bright Side

2011-12-18T16:23:00.003-05:00

How's that for a title? Jonathan (that's the boyfriend) used to refer to people/things he didn't like as being on his "shit list." I cannot count the number of times he's said to me, "that's it. you're on my shit list."
He hasn't used the phrase in a while.

I suppose that means he's learned to love every little thing I do.

Or it means that I'm way behind and no one says "shit list" anymore.
Probably that.

But anyway. Here's my shit list.
(Plus a "bright side," since I don't like when the glass is half-empty).

1. The individual who left their shopping cart in the grocery store parking lot, nestled right up against the driver's side of my car.

I'm going to give them the benefit of doubt & assume they didn't mean to hit my car with their shopping cart. But people who don't take their cart to the cart corral/back to the store still make my list. For the record.

The bright side: Not a scratch! It's not that I get terribly upset about scratches but if my car got scratched because of some inconsiderate person who can afford more groceries than I can (that's the kicker)......I would have trouble maintaining my ~~normally ladylike~~ composure. Fo sho.

2. Speaking of the grocery store. That, too.

They were all out of my normal hummus, which I was planning to spend 20% of my $10 budget on. This meant that I had to think on my feet, which I don't do well in grocery stores.

Years of tight budgeting mean that I have trained myself to only buy what's on the list. It's my grocery shopping mantra. So, faced with choosing a different hummus, I panicked. Jalapeno, it is. To go with my carrots. Now that's a winning combo.

The bright side: I will never forsake my list again. I've learned my lesson. Trying new things is good, right? As for the hummus and carrots...haven't tried it yet. I'll let you know.

{image}

3. Jury duty. This is the second time in my life that I've received a summons for jury duty during finals. What are the odds? The universe is against me graduating, I've determined.

The bright side: I will be moving out of this county within the next month. Therefore, officially disqualified for jury duty. YES. This will likely be the only upside to moving to the country for this city girl.

4. Getting a lovely visit from Aunt Flo just in time for finals. Gotta love that timing.

The bright side: I watched a girl buy a pregnancy test in the convenience store in the Student Union the other day (yes, they sell pregnancy tests between the school supplies and the potato chips. I didn't know whether to be impressed or appalled, either). It occurred to me--the only thing worse than getting your period during finals? Would be missing it during finals. Yikes. I'll take my cramps gladly.

* I would like to clarify that I don't mean "appalled" as in appalled that anyone would ever need an E.P.T. Just at the random placement. Guess the student health center had budget cuts.

5. The coffee shop near my favorite study spot. Who closes a coffee shop during finals week?
That's just bad karma.

The bright side: I could still get cheap and good coffee...I just had to walk further. Oh, exercise. How I despise you.

6. Being very broke. I am cash-poor at the moment. As in, I have a place to live, I have food, I have a car, but I have no money that isn't being funneled into these things.

The bright side: You know how your favorite song always comes on the radio right as you pull up to the gas pump? You'll only miss about 30 seconds of it if all you can afford is two gallons of gas. Being poor for the win, people.

7. My bad cat Mikey. I put up a sparkly silver tinsel tabletop tree and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD he won't stop chewing on the branches.

The bright side: I'm waiting for the sparkly silver tinsel poop. I'll be sure to take a picture.

So clever

2011-12-15T23:17:00.000-05:00

How to blog with minimal effort because you worked all day and will be studying all night:
Post a few of the amazing things found elsewhere on the internet.

Aaaaaaaaaaand here we go!
(Pictures link to the source)

MODG's" Operation: We Are Not Assholes" is so amazing. It will make you cry. Unless you're an asshole.

Holy freaking Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge? Count me in.
You can expect another post at some point with the full list & how many I've read.
And this is why my blog will never see the big times.
Moving on...

Speaking of good books, this movie looks AMAZING. I might actually go see it in theaters. That's huge. I can read for hours and hours without stopping, even to eat...but focusing on just a movie for 90 minutes is hard. Rough life, eh?

Pictures of walls.

More interesting than they sound.

Garfield Minus Garfield.... genius.

It is a little bit like the first time you hear about the "hidden" adult themes/images in Disney movies, though. Half amazed and amused...and half disappointed. Sometimes letting a book, movie, comic etc. stay purely entertainment without digging deeper for meaning is good, you know? Anyway. Still genius. Just know that you'll never see comics the same way again. And, if you're anything like me, you'll start imagining ALL conversations as one-sided. Talk about inappropriate laughter in a public place.

On that note...good night!

This is just to say...

2011-12-13T20:53:00.000-05:00

This is just to say that walking out of my last class today felt SO GOOD. Especially since my last class ever as an undergrad involved giving a 30-minute long group presentation, and speaking in front of people makes me feel like puking.

On that lovely note,

2 more papers, 4 final exams to go. Almost done.

Then what?

Still trying to figure that out. I have faith. Everything will work out and I will have a Christmas tree. In January. I mean....most people still have their tree up in January, right? Most people probably won't be catching up on their Christmas movie watching and music listening, but to each their own.

{image. oh tannenbaum...you will be mine...even if it is seasonally inappropriate}

Other things I can't wait to catch up on: Pinterest. Blogging. And, you know, non-internet activities too.

Like seeing all the friends I've barely seen this semester. Returning phone calls I received months ago. Cleaning (and packing!) my neglected apartment. Washing my car (bought it six months ago...haven't washed it yet. Hmm). Reading the books gathering dust on my nightstand. Oh sweet freedom...

CAN'T WAIT.

A Friday Collective

2011-12-09T20:12:00.000-05:00

What a week. This has been the worst semester I've ever had, in terms of workload. Not sleeping, not eating, mainlining the coffee, writing papers until my eyes blur...bleh. I'll stop complaining.

So here's some random junk from this week.

1. It is better to have loved and lost....

I located the very best coffee on campus and it's only $2 (for a large) and it's really close to the sociology building. YES.

Of course, I found it with one week to go in my very last semester. Ever. There's no free parking on campus. Good bye, excellent and inexpensive coffee. You will be missed.

2. I haven't even been taking my Flintstone vitamins.

Today, I had a vegetable for the first time in over a week. That's bad, I know.

But vegetables do not come out of vending machines. Breakfast, lunch, dinner this week? Vending machine food. It's okay to be grossed out. I am. Even though writing this is making me crave cheetos.

3. An almost battle scar. Almost.

I'm on an aspirin regimen. Aspirin regimen + aspirin for a headache = bruising easily. Wanna know how I got the lovely one above?

Sleeping with my bracelets on.

Womp, womp.

Don't you love it when you have an obvious bruise/cut/miscellaneous injury (the kind people ask about) and it looks pretty badass, but you got it in a really stupid or embarrassing way?

I have so many of those stories.

4. "...If you want to get a good grade"

One of my professors just e-mailed the class. The ten-page final paper? Should be twenty pages.

What.

5. The angel on one shoulder, the devil on the other.

I found 5 dollars on the ground at the gas station yesterday. I've been waging a moral war in my head ever since. Keep it or donate it?

On one hand, vending machine cuisine really adds up and I am supa-broke. Like broke broke. On the other hand, it isn't my money. There's no way I can find its rightful owner, but I can pass it on to someone who needs it more than I do.

Aaaaaand I just got 5 bucks poorer.

Stupid moral values.

That's all. I mean, there's more. But there are 4 big papers between me and a diploma, so everything else will have to wait. Have a good weekend!

Linking up with E Tells Tales

Christmas is coming!

2011-12-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

{my little tree last year, with gifts for family & friends underneath}

Christmas is my favorite time of year. I sincerely believe it should be at least 6 months long.

I love giving gifts, I love wrapping gifts, I love decorating, I love Christmas music, I love Christmas movies, I love the smells & the food & the general sense that all is right in the world. Just thinking about it makes me dorky-excited. The kind of excited that makes you flap your hands and squeal. (It's not pretty).

I think I feel Christmas more than I experience it, if that makes sense?

I know so many people who get caught up in the hustle-and-bustle and only think of Christmas as an expensive and stressful time.

And I feel bad for them. Because if you stop for a minute to soak it all in....

the air is crisp and fresh, with the teasing possibility of snowmen,

the kind of air that makes you feel like you can breathe deeply for the first time in a long time.

the smell of Christmas trees is comforting, like so many old memories,

but still minty enough to remind you that a new year is about to begin.

messages of giving and hope and humility are everywhere,

if you choose to listen.

bells are ringing, music is playing, children are joyful,

time with loved ones suddenly seems more important.

Christmas trees are hung with "Baby's First Christmas" and Hallmark ornaments,

but also with lights that make the room sparkle.

Everywhere you look there are stars and angels. These are cliches.

But we all have ideas or people or spirituality that guide and support us.
I like the symbolism.

Not feeling the spirit of Christmas?

put a wreath on your door.
stop.

if you open that door, you enter your home.

your home has a roof.

under that roof, laughter can happen,

food can be enjoyed,

beds can be slept in and-

if you pay attention-

you might realize that the presents you've received aren't the ones under your tree on Christmas morning,

they're the ones that surround you the rest of the year.

that's something to celebrate.

and that? that is why i love Christmas.

* I promise that this will be my only corny, sappy Christmas post this year. Bah humbug.

Book Review: Little Bee

2011-12-02T19:18:00.000-05:00

Grade: B+

Well-written. You'll get sucked into the story and then it will blow your mind. There are parts you'll wish you hadn't read.

You'll see those parts coming and you'll know that you should skip them because they'll give you nightmares, but you'll keep reading anyway. Curiosity killed the cat.

Other than being kept awake at night and losing a bit of faith in one half of humanity (read: the XY half), my only criticism is that the story felt front-loaded.

It built up slowly and then snowballed toward the conclusion.

It felt kinda like when you're writing a paper and you aren't sure it'll be long enough so you drag out eeeeevery liiiiiiiiittle thiiiiiing you want to say. Then you hit the minimum page requirement (OH HEY!) so you bang out the world's most abrupt conclusion AND DONE.

Still, highly recommended. It's a thought-provoker.

"On the girl's brown legs there were many small white scars. I was thinking, Do those scars cover the whole of you, like the stars and the moons on your dress? I thought that would be pretty too, and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.

In a few breaths' time I will speak some sad words to you. But you must hear them the same way we have agreed to see scars now. Sad words are just another beauty. A sad story means, this storyteller is alive. The next thing you know, something fine will happen to her, something marvelous, and then she will turn around and smile."

***************************************

Spoiler: For a week after I finished this book, I went around asking everyone I know if they would cut off a finger to save a stranger. Would you?

Linked up here

Random December

2011-12-02T07:00:00.001-05:00

I chew my cuticles when I'm stressed out. This is a terrible, awful, very bad, no good habit for several reasons:

1. it looks awful.
2. it's gross.
3. the combo of stress & extra germs = getting sick.

This tea is amazing, especially with honey. It's the only tea I drink.
Seriously, try it.
I will be drinking 5+ cups of it everyday for the next two weeks.
Please don't let me get sick, please don't let me get sick...
It usually works.

I'm not going to my graduation. That shizz costs money. $113, to be exact.
Ridiculous.
I have better things to do with $113.
Or I would, if I had $113. Ha.

This is a pathetic post. I know.

I was going to say something about how it's so suddenly December and that's overwhelming, but I googled "December" and the pictures it pulled up made me grateful that it's December.

& I needed that. So, in case anyone else does, too...

{image via}

The third one and the last one are my favorites. Happy December!

some numbers for you

2011-11-28T07:00:00.001-05:00

in explanation of my absence:

3 weeks left in the semester, 2 weeks left of classes.
My last class is December 13.
My last exam is December 21.

between now and then...
1 presentation
2 statistics lab assignments
4 quizzes
4 big papers (roughly 80 pages total)
5 final exams
9 papers (roughly 45 pages total)
25 short answer assignments

my posting here will likely be intermittent.

can't wait for December 22!

What Happy People Do

2011-11-23T07:00:00.001-05:00

{this photo has nothing to do with happiness, other than that it was taken at a place that makes me happy}

I'm writing a research proposal that has something to do with happiness. It's not interesting enough to write about, unless you really like statistical analysis. I'm assuming that's a no?

But my digging has turned up some useful gems. And since I love lists, I give you:

Wait.

This is going to sound (read?) preachy. I'm not advocating any of these things. Just the facts, ya'll. I do hardly any of these.

What Happy People Do

They talk more and have deeper conversations.

They watch much less TV. Allegedly.

They read the newspaper.

They meditate.

They think about the things they're grateful for.

They don't compare themselves to others.

They're religious and they attend church.

They are vegetarians.

They're kind--and the kinder they are to others, the happier they become.

They save more.

They are optimistic about planning for the future.

They choose to be happy.

{image via}

"The happy person has a positive temperament, tends to look on the bright side of things, has high self-esteem, and does not ruminate excessively about bad events. Marriage and religiosity are also correlated with happiness. And a happy person typically has social confidants, and is successfully making progress toward valued goals.

.... demographic factors such as health, income, age, sex differences, education, and intelligence are not strongly correlated with [happiness]. In addition, people who value money more highly than other goals are less satisfied with their lives.

The process of moving towards one's goals is probably more important to well-being than actual goal attainment; and setting realistic goals is more conducive to happiness than setting unrealistically high aspirations."

(Swift, 2007. Financial success and the good life: What have we learned from empirical studies in psychology? Journal of Business Ethics. 75; 2. 191-199.)

Decisions, decisions.

2011-11-22T07:00:00.002-05:00

I would like nothing better than to find a job right after graduation, pack everything up and move right around the first of the year. This basically all hinges on finding a job. Of course.

Although, I am very tempted to just wing it and GO.

Places I'm considering (of many):

Baltimore & DC

Pros:

Super close to family and friends
An easy move
Probably my best odds of finding a job in my areas of interest
Arts, culture, history, Ikea...all that good stuff (not saying this is lacking in the other cities)
This is "home" to me

Cons:
It would feel like taking the "easy way out"
I've lived here all my life & want to go somewhere new
High cost of living
Relatively high crime rates
TRAFFIC. oh dear God, the traffic.

Philadelphia, PA

Pros:

I've only been there a couple dozen times, but I liked what I saw.

According to Wikipedia, knower-of-all-the-things, Philly has more outdoor sculptures and murals than any other US city. Plus the "largest concentration of 18th-century architecture"

Ranked 5th most walkable city in the US

Rent seems reasonable

Within a couple hours of home (easier move, easier to visit)

Cons:

I've only been there a couple dozen times, so I haven't seen much.

Crime rate isn't so good, although better than Baltimore and DC.

I haven't had any luck finding jobs

"Philadelphia was named the 2nd most Dirtiest City in America by Travel and Leisure's readership, for a variety of ways, including litter, air pollution, and taste of local tap water."

Richmond, VA

Pros:

Within a few hours of home (again, easy move & easy to visit)

Mild winters

MUCH better crime rate...in 2008, Richmond was ranked 49th most dangerous city

Job market doesn't seem too bad at all

I could rent a house in Richmond for less than a studio apartment in the DC metro area

Less traffic than the above-mentioned options

Cons:

Hot & humid summers

Annual vehicle inspections

I haven't been to Richmond since I was a little kid, so I really don't know the area.

Boston, MA

Pros:

Ranked 37th worldwide for quality of life...whoa.

The history!

I love that so many people walk to work

Have you seen the library?

Cons:

SO COLD!

High cost of living

I've never been there

Honorable Mentions: Denver (this is the boyfriend's numero uno choice), Portland, Seattle and Austin (these are cities I've always wanted to see).

Opinions?????

{Images: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5}

Netflix has let me down.

2011-11-21T07:00:00.001-05:00

I haven't had cable TV since July.

My cable box got fried during a lightning storm. Getting and setting up a new cable box would require me to coordinate with the cable company. Since patience is not one of my greatest virtues, going without cable seemed to be a better option.

My boyfriend gifted me a Roku box and, by extension, his Netflix account for Valentine's Day this year. Given my love for all things documentary, I figured I could live happily ever with Netflix in lieu of cable.

This has been going swimmingly. Saying goodbye to Teen Mom and CNN was tough, but documentaries aplenty got me through my grief. Until now.

Where are the Christmas movies?

I was gearing up for another holiday season of Elf, The Family Stone, and It's a Wonderful Life, and instead....

Who picks these movies, Netflix? Isn't anyone working quality control?

To their credit, they do have Miracle on 34th Street. But where is Charlie Brown? The Grinch? Rudolph? Frosty? No Santa Clause, Jingle All the Way or Home Alone, either.

Bah humbug.

Dear Thanksgiving,

2011-11-20T18:23:00.000-05:00

Hurry up. I'm ready for Christmas, and I've heard it won't come until you're over.

These photos were all saved to my computer in the Pre-Pinterest Era, so I don't have the sources.

(If you know, let me know so I can credit!)

gradu-waiting.

2011-11-16T20:05:00.000-05:00

{image via}

My best friend sent me this article, and aside from being hilarious, it rang very true.

Especially this part:

"Last month, I overheard a conversation between a steakhouse waiter and an older couple he was serving. He knew the couple, but not intimately. They politely asked how his classes were coming along, and he said that he had in fact graduated with a degree in architecture. For the next several minutes, the old couple awkwardly tried to reassure him that something would come along while he attempted to justify to them why he was serving steaks for a living.

It was painfully clear that he felt like a failure, and that he dreaded having this conversation with every older member of his family he encountered. Having to put a positive spin on his own life, trying to reassure them that he wasn't a failure, or lazy, or hadn't dropped out of society due to a drug problem. Yes, I did get my degree. No, they're not hiring."

{image via}

I look at job listings every day and I'm struggling to find a job paying more than $10-$12 an hour. I'm not turning up my nose at $10-$12, but there's definitely more than an inkling of "...then what did I go to college for?"

$12/hr = $18K a year after taxes. In this area, even a small studio apartment or shared living space runs about $10K a year (at least). See where I'm going with this?

It's frustrating and it's frightening.

In my head I've started referring to graduation as graduWAITion. which sounds a lot more clever in my head.

On a side note, maybe it would help if I stop looking for jobs on idealist.org?

Maybe?

Sleepy Tuesday

2011-11-15T15:34:00.000-05:00

{image via}

I am burnt out. The last four days have been nothing but doing research and writing papers. I could complain and complain and complain (and boy would I like to, right after I take a nap :) but I have coffee to drink and papers to write, so here's a poem instead:

After working sixty hours again for what reason // Bob Hicok

The best job I had was moving a stone

from one side of the road to the other.

This required a permit which required

a bribe. The bribe took all my salary.

Yet because I hadn’t finished the job

I had no salary, and to pay the bribe

I took a job moving the stone

the other way. Because the official

wanted his bribe, he gave me a permit

for the second job. When I pointed out

that the work would be best completed

if I did nothing, he complimented

my brain and wrote a letter

to my employer suggesting promotion

on stationery bearing the wings

of a raptor spread in flight

over a mountain smaller than the bird.

My boss, fearing my intelligence,

paid me to sleep on the sofa

and take lunch with the official

who required a bribe to keep anything

from being done. When I told my parents,

they wrote my brother to come home

from university to be slapped

on the back of the head. Dutifully,

he arrived and bowed to receive

his instruction, at which point

sense entered his body and he asked

what I could do by way of a job.

I pointed out there were stones

everywhere trying not to move,

all it took was a little gumption

to be the man who didn’t move them.

It was harder to explain the intricacies

of not obtaining a permit to not

do this. Just yesterday he got up

at dawn and shaved, as if the lack

of hair on his face has anything

to do with the appearance of food

on an empty table.

oh, shopping. how i miss you...

2011-11-14T07:00:00.001-05:00

If I had any money to spend on gifts this year, this is where I'd shop.

From their website:

"SERRV is a nonprofit organization with a mission to eradicate poverty wherever it resides by providing opportunity and support to artisans and farmers worldwide."

"We strive to enrich lives around the world and to inspire real change for the better.
Our work encompasses more than just buying and selling.
We offer prepayments so our partners can sustain their business.
Create new designs so they can build their markets.
Teach new skills so they can develop their craft.
Provide grants so they can expand their resources.

We support equal rights for women.
Guide sustainable development.
And of course, pay a fair wage."

i love it.

and this is what I would buy....

{all images link to the product}

omgosh. window shopping overload. off to do homework!

smart kids

2011-11-11T07:00:00.007-05:00

I used to work at a school and I loved all the theories the kids had about their world. My favorite was the little boy who told me that I wasn't a girl. Uhh Whaaat?! "Only kids can be girls. You're grown up, so you're a lady!"

Preach it, kid.

When I was little, some punk on the playground told me that babies were born through belly buttons. I pondered the origins of life for a long time after that & ultimately decided that where babies came from would always be a mystery, but as for how they were born? Definitely pooped out. It made the most sense. I spent a couple years after that absolutely terrified that I would poop a mystery baby.

Ironically, my childhood fear is now shared by every woman who's ever seen an episode of "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

I really wanted to add a picture to illustrate this point 'cuz what's a blog without pictures? then i thought that one through. you're welcome. happy friday!

Mercy!

2011-11-10T08:47:00.000-05:00

I took this quiz last night. I'm a sucker for personality quizzes. There's just something so fascinating/gratifying/narcissistic about reading a description of "yourself." Ha.

Anyway. The quiz is designed for use in churches and organizations and if you take it you can "learn more about yourself and identify areas that match your abilities and interests where you will feel most comfortable, effective, and satisfied."

Or, if you're like me, you can read about the lovely, virtuous qualities you don't possess.

{etsy}

That's right, I have none. Knew that one was coming. Actually, gifttest.org gave me a generous rating of 32/100. Thanks.

It's not that I'm callous... In my defense, I cry during The Notebook and that ASPCA commercial with the Sarah McLachlan song. To be honest, I'm a crier. Just seeing someone else cry will start my waterworks. Once, I cried during a lecture about the industrial revolution (the industrial revolution changed everything! only people with no mercy could shed no tears!). That's gotta be worth something.

I give hugs. I listen. I do my best to be there for anyone who needs me. I donate to organizations that benefit children, animals and people in need, because I believe in helping children, animals and people in need.

But full-grown, able-bodied adults with first world problems they created for themselves?
Suck it up.

{via pinterest}

As a full-grown, able-bodied adult with first world problems I created for myself, I'd like to qualify my statement: I complain about my life all the time. I'll happily listen to you complain, too.

Venting is useful. It gets out all the negative emotions and lets you get your thoughts straight so you can work out solutions. But if your vent gets stuck in the open position, you'll lose all your steam to make changes. I just made that up. See, I have virtues! But really,

{via pinterest}

Don't we?
And now you know why I scored so low on "showing mercy."

wake up call

2011-11-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

{via lolcats}

This is how my cat Mikey wakes me up between 3 and 5 am every day.

It's a lot funnier on the internet.

I'm tired!

In Memory of My Hair

2011-11-08T07:00:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time, many years ago, I had hair like this:

That hair makes me want to cry. It's so beautiful! It's so long and so thick! (that's what she said). But, like any girl worth her weight in hair products, 14-year-old me hated my hair.

It was curly and I wanted it to be straight. It was dark and I wanted it to be blonde. My mother tried to stop me (God bless her) but I am nothing if not strong-willed. This was inevitable:

It took about a year of regular dying (aka bleaching) to get to this point. My hair was fried. I played around with highlights for a while, but eventually cut it & dyed it some weird shade of copper.

Q&A time: What am I doing in this picture? It appears that I'm skipping class down by the creek behind the high school. Why is there a boogie board in the creek? Your guess is as good as mine. Why is there a backpack in the creek? Probably because someone got mugged. Why am I pulling the backpack out of the creek? To check for money. And also because all that bleach I put on my head killed some brain cells.

At various points over the next year or so, I had pink hair, pseudo-dreads, black hair and blonde highlights. My black hair doesn't look very black, does it? That's because as soon as I dyed it, I hated it & scrubbed my head with dish detergent until it faded. Dish detergent. There are no words.

Between the summer of 06 and the summer of 07, I went from this:

to this:

Like a breath of fresh air, right? But I'm a slow learner. By the next summer:

What can I say? My teenage years were over (my parents are still celebrating) and in a last gasping protest against impending adulthood, I went pink again.

In the three years since then, I've dyed my hair black (and loved it that time), let it fade to my natural hair color, cut down on straightening and tried to grow my hair out. Tried. It would grow a little, I would flat-iron the crap outta it and then have to cut off 6 inches or so of dead ends. Rinse and repeat.

My hair has also gotten a lot thinner. Thanks to a fun combination of iron deficiency and anxiety (highly recommended!), my hair is maybe half as thick as it was a decade ago. And, despite years of trying to grow it out, the longest it's gotten is just below my shoulders.

The moral of the world's longest post about hair? Appreciate what you have, because someday you might find yourself wishing you had it back. Even if it is just hair. Boy I wish ~~someone had told me that~~ I had listened to my mother.

The Great Football Inquisition

2011-11-06T19:51:00.000-05:00

I went to my first/last/only University of Maryland football game on Saturday.

{I did not take this picture. I'm a lazy picture-taker. I google instead.}

Maryland lost, 31 to 13. I like the symmetry of that score (sorry UMD).

{boyfriend, me & one of my best friends}

I really enjoyed being there. The weather was great, we sat in the sun and the nachos were delicious. Perfect afternoon.

Oh, and there was a football game. I've decided football would be fun to watch if it was edited down to only the actual playing time & played back in black and white on fast forward. In my head, this looks like an old Tom & Jerry cartoon.

A small sampling of the questions my poor, tormented, ever-loving and very patient boyfriend answered during the game:

Why are there so many breaks?

What's a 'down'?

Why don't they just duke it out at half-time and call it a day?

What's a 2-point conversion?

Do you think the guy holding the ball and getting tackled ever wishes he WASN'T the guy holding the ball and getting tackled?

What does 'to go' mean on the scoreboard?

Can we get pizza?

Why are there so many breaks?

Which team is Maryland? (asked during the 3rd quarter. this explained a lot of my confusion during the first half.)

What's the goal-thing at the end of the field called?

How come they have 'downs' but not 'ups'?

Why are there so many breaks?

Does the ball ever hit the people on the sidelines and give them bloody noses?

and finally--

Is the marching band really playing "Last Friday Night"?

It was.

On being a procrastinator

2011-11-02T22:11:00.000-04:00

I want to preface this by saying that I should be doing homework right now. Specifically, I should be writing a research paper that's due tomorrow (and that I've had a month to write).

I think I'll start it in the morning. Instead --

My tips for becoming a better procrastinator:

1. Use your time wisely. if you have a paper due in your second class of the day, write it during your first class. this is what teachers are talking about when they lecture about "time management." I promise.

2. If you feel tempted to start a paper or project ahead of time (ha!), remind yourself of all the more enjoyable things you could be doing instead. then go and do them. life is short.

3. Lastly, and most importantly, have faith in the productivity of last-minute panic. It's never let me down.

being here.

2011-11-01T16:22:00.000-04:00

I have been very preoccupied lately with where-to-go-next. Where will I live? What will I do? How will I pay my bills? Job searching & house searching & soul searching.

So preoccupied with where I'll be in 2 months that I've kind of forgotten where I am now. Which is also important, in a "you're gonna miss this" way.

There are exactly 6 weeks left in this semester. For the last 5 years, I've been planning for next semester. Either choosing classes or thinking "maybe next semester I'll go back to school."

Now, my days of skipping classes and writing papers at 3 a.m. are numbered. It's bittersweet. I want to experience the next 6 weeks, I want to be here...not living in the future I'm trying to figure out.

I want to sit in the Art/Socy Building and wonder what the hell this thing is and if I could swing on it.

I want to appreciate the cheap wit of bored students. "Was Shakespeare a Freud?" ...It made me laugh.

I want to sit in the courtyard drinking the world's smallest cup of coffee that I bought from the Socy department for $0.60 out of caffeine-craving desperation. (It's highway robbery. And the creamer is powder. And I buy a cup at least once a week.)

And I want to walk to my classes and take time to realize that the colors of the leaves are beautiful & the sun is out & there won't be many more days like this.

Snow in October

2011-10-29T20:39:00.001-04:00

"If this isn't a kingdom then I don't know what is.

So how would you catalog it? Dawn in the fields?

Snow and dirty rain? Light brought in in buckets?

I was trying to describe the kingdom, but the letters

kept smudging as I wrote them: the hunter's heart,

the hunter's mouth, the trees and the trees and the

space between the trees, swimming in gold."

{excerpt: snow and dirty rain, richard siken}

It didn't stick to the roads at all though, so I'm okay with it. And it's the perfect backdrop for a cup of coffee (or four) and a whole day spent reading.

Recharging

2011-10-27T18:07:00.002-04:00

{image via}

I took a "staycation" day today. To catch my breath and remember why I'm doing everything I'm doing, instead of coasting or taking the easy way. I feel reenergized. My homework is done, my apartment is (somewhat) clean, I got 8 (!!!!) hours of sleep last night and I feel so much better about everything.

Plus now I'm only one 12-hour work day from the weekend. ;) Don't ya like how that worked out?

“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” Sigmund Freud

Before 2011 Ends

2011-10-26T21:07:00.005-04:00

I'm a list-maker. To-do lists, grocery lists, bucket lists, lists of things to buy/make/read and watch. Lists are how I cope with life. They make me feel in control. It's probably not healthy.

Oh well.

6* Things to Do Before 2012

1. Graduate from college   
Finally. I took ~2 years off from school to work and just went back full-time last fall. I'm set to graduate in December (God willing & the ~~creek don't rise~~ finals don't kill me) and I'm so excited to be done.  

2. Try a new recipe . . . Maybe this?

{PW's Grilled Vegetable Pizza}

3. Do yoga once a week for 10 weeks   

Including this week, there are 10 weeks left in the year. Back in June, before my schedule got super busy, I bought a yoga mat. It's still in the plastic. We'll see how this works out.  

{The mat I bought, image via}

4. Go back to the Hirshhorn   
If you've never been to the Hirshhorn Museum & Sculpture Garden in D.C., you're missing out. It’s my favorite museum in D.C., and I've been to them all.

{images via one, two, three}

5. Go to a football game at UMD  

I've never been to a UMD football game. I'm not really a sports fan at all, but I want to go for the experience. And student tickets are free. I don't turn down "free."  

6. Read at least 2 books   
I would be embarrassed, but seriously...I have 7 classes, a job and a healthy appreciation for sleep. These are next in the stack on my nightstand: 

* This list started with a very ambitious 12 things to do before 2012. But let's be honest....there's only 10 weeks left in the year. And I'm not that ambitious.

Whole Wheat Honey Bread Fail

2011-10-25T18:45:00.003-04:00

This weekend I made bread from scratch......using a bread machine.

So basically, I put the ingredients together & then watched TV for 3 hours. Domestic goddess over here.

I used this recipe. Of course, I expected my bread to look like the picture on the website:

(Image)

And, of course, my bread looked like this (after I ate a slice):

Hmm.
Really ugly.....but still tasty.
Not a total loss.

1.

2011-10-20T20:53:00.001-04:00

For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.
T. S. Eliot

I have no idea how to "start" a blog. It feels like I'm introducing myself to the internet. Kind of awkward.

None of the blogs I read has a first post. I've checked. They all seem to have started in mid-sentence, just a regular post, no awkwardness. So it's just me, then?

Ok.

I'm starting this blog because it's been a while since I checked something off my 101 in 1001 list. And I'm down to 577 days now, so it's crunch time.

Starting a blog is on my 1001 list because I have a lot of words and I need a place to put them.

So, hi. I'm Keri. Nice to meet you.